Never Give Up

 This week has been a tough week. My symptoms have felt worse and more intensified. I try and stay on a routine so that I don't feel like I am wasting the day away but I have been sleeping in a lot this week. It has been frustrating and I can't help but ask, "Why me?" I hate that I can't do stuff like cheering for my grandbabies at a soccer game or enjoying bingo night without worrying about it triggering my symptoms. My questions and emotions aren't bad but I read somewhere that we should change our "Why?" to a "What?" God, what do you want me to learn from this?  What is my testimony going to be? When you ask "what" it is more trusting toward God. That is why we go through our trials so that we learn to trust Him more and asking "why" is the opposite of trusting Him. When you ask "why" it is actually questioning who He is. 

After one of my walks, I was hurting so bad that I couldn't even lift my leg to get in my car. I cried on the way home. I know I need to thank God for the good health that I do have. I can thank Him that I can stand and walk. That I can hug, hold and carry my grandbabies. Sometimes I have to be reminded of that because I get so wrapped up in the pain and the emotions. I am also so thankful that He has given me people to walk alongside me on this journey. But most importantly I know that He is carrying me and He is planning my rescue mission. I feel like I am alone lost in the wilderness but I know He is in the shadows fighting my battles for me. I know that He will never leave me or forsake me. He has never given up on me and I know He will not give up on me now.

With this being Good Friday I am reminded that Jesus followed through and went all the way to the cross and died for my sins. He never gave up on what He was supposed to do. Despite the trials, I face day after day and week after week I will not give up. I am going to see this through to the end. I don't know what the outcome will be, but as long as God gets all the glory that is all that matters to me. 

Jesus is the Hero of my story.