The Good Shepherd

 At the very beginning of this part of my journey God gave me Psalm 23. I remember driving home after I got fired and I was crying out to God not knowing what I was going to do or what was next. The scripture that immediately popped in my head was The Lord is my Shepherd. I remember trying to recite it and I couldn’t remember the whole thing. So, I put it on my phone and my phone read it to me as I drove. Even though, I still don’t have it memorized it is tucked away in my heart. During the last few weeks, God has been nudging me to refer to it, again. So, I have been studying Psalm 23, and now know why he gave me that scripture in the very beginning. Each part is an intricate piece of my story.

The Lord is my shepherd, but is He really? One thing that the Lord showed me is that I have been living in fear my whole life. As I look back, I can see that the choices I made were out of fear. Now if the Lord was my shepherd back then, which He was on His part but not on my part, I would not have acted in fear. I would have had a trusting relationship with Him. I would have felt safe and secure, but I did not allow Him to be my shepherd. I was looking to the people in my life for that safety and security. That is why I run and push people away because I expect them to give me only what God can give me.

The Lord is my shepherd only when I (we) relinquish all control to Him. I have exchanged my way of living life for God’s way. It’s freeing, productive, and adventurous. He brought me to this place of “homelessness” so that He could show me His position in my life. I recognize now that I belong to Him, His right to me, I do and will continue to respond to His authority and acknowledge His ownership.  In this, I find freedom and complete fulfillment. I know I have a purpose and I am content with whatever God has for me. I can and will continue to say, “The Lord is my shepherd.”

 A while back God taught me about “just enough.” I didn’t know the full extent of that, until now, during this phase, I have had just enough but it is also about being content with just enough. I was talking to a lady at the gym and she asked me how I was doing. Usually when someone asks me that I always say, “I’m good.” Since we are always talking, I told her about my situation and she immediately was asking if I needed anything like gas money or food. I said no I have everything I need, and God is taking care of me.  I do have everything I need. The roof over my head may not be the ideal roof, but it is still a roof non the less. It could be worse. Some people don’t even have a car, and some people sleep on the actual streets in cardboard boxes. So, during this brief stay in this phase I can say “I shall not want”, because I have everything I need. I am like the little sheep in the pasture with the shepherd keeping watch, I am content with what I have. I belong to the Good Shepherd.

It is day 24 in this phase. Ok, now I’m calling it a phase because I know I will not be here forever. I am completely satisfied with where I am and knowing that “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want”. The last couple of days I felt like I was in a funk, I’m tired, it’s hot, and I’m moody. This morning I woke up and started getting ready for the day and I had a plan of what I was going to do until I had to go to work. However, God had something else in mind. I usually rush off to go get things done. Today, God was like slow down. So, I sat down in a chair and I picked up a book off the bookshelf behind me and I opened it up to a chapter titled “Even There”. The author Priscilla Shirer was talking about Mary and how she ended up in a barn to have her baby. Even there, God showed up. The quote that God wanted me to see was, “displaced and yet perfectly placed.” That is where I am, in displacement but it is perfect, because it is exactly where God wants me. I believe He needs me here, He has a plan.

Thank you, Jesus for always showing up even in our displacements.